If you are like me, with a heart longing to be a mother, you may go through so many different emotions when you see a baby. It can be hope one instance, imaging holding your very own baby and trusting God will provide. Then, impatience wondering what is taking God so long. Sometimes, you can even feel angry with the thought that God may be withholding a child from you. You may see your friends, colleagues, and neighbor with their cute pregnancy announcements and baby photoshoots on social media. It seems everyone else is getting pregnant but you.
Instead of feeling happy for them, you are not. And you feel guilty because you are not happy for them like you are supposed to be. So you let your emotions drown in feelings of bitterness and guilt. And then, you see and hear of people who do not even want children at all but they are conceiving and popping out children. Meanwhile, you may have gone to doctors and specialists. You are doing your part, eating well, resting, and exercising. Still nothing.
You may hear people mindlessly, not knowing your situation ask “don’t you guys want kids”, “why don’t you start having kids” or similar variations of hurtful questions. While they may say those things carelessly without meaning to hurt you, each word may sound like a personal attack. You may feel defective for not being able to procreate.
What is the deal, God? Where are you?
Trusting God Through Infertility
Go ahead and cry your frustration out while you are still trusting God. There is no rule against the sadness and frustrating, human emotions that you are feeling. But, let us remember who our God is. God knows that desiring to have children is something that we as humans will experience throughout history. He knew it then and He knows it now.
He sees you cry out to Him, He knows the desires of your heart, He hears your prayers, even when it may not feel like it. When we say that the Holy Bible is the complete work of God for us in this world, it includes this subject. So let’s go and see what the Bible tells us about women that faced infertility.
Pregnancy miracles from God
There are many pregnancy miracles throughout the Bible. Some were trusting of God, some doubted. But the result was still a miracle from God.
Read: Genesis 17: 15-19
We can start with the father and mother of Israel –Abraham and Sarah. The facts of their old age are against them. Sarah even laughed when the man of God told her that she would be pregnant. God is a promise keeper, He kept His promises to Abraham and Sarah who later had Isaac.
Read: Genesis 30: 1-2, 22-24
Next was Rachel, Jacob’s beloved wife. Rachel saw that her sister Leah kept having children. Seeing that pregnancy wasn’t happening for her, she cried to Jacob as if he is withholding children from her! The truth is only God is able to give life. God may seem “late” to her but Joseph was eventually born. Joseph became the deliverer for Israel later on.
Read: 2 Kind 4: 8-17
In 2 King 4, you will read of the prophet Elisha and a well-to-do woman. Elisha asked what he can do for her because she provided him with a room every time he came into town. Elisha’s servant Gehazi said she has no son and her husband is old. The prophet told her that about this time next year, you will hold a son in your arms. She was so overwhelmed that she objected saying “don’t mislead” me. Why would she have responded that way if he has not been hoping and praying for a long time? Her response showed that she feared being disappointed in this area of her life because she yearned to be a mother.
Read: Luke 1: 5-7
In the New Testament, we see Elizabeth’s story. Elizabeth was the cousin of Mary and wife of Zechariah, who served as a priest. The Bible tells us that both ” Zechariah and Elizabeth truly did what God said was good. They did everything the Lord commanded and were without fault in keeping his law. But they had no children because Elizabeth could not have a baby, and both of them were very old.”
If being good gave you what you wanted, Zechariah and Elizabeth would have had children already. But God does things in His time and in His ways. After the angel Gabriel visited Zechariah, Elizabeth finally did conceive and give birth to John.
Read: Luke 1:26-56
Finally, the ultimate pregnancy miracle from God was with Jesus’s mother Mary. While Mary’s situation was different in that she is not beyond child-bearing age or has desperately been asking for a child, God chose her to be a mother. This pregnancy was the biggest miracle of all because Jesus was born of the virgin Mary.
Who In The Bible Prayed For a Baby?
Read: 1 Samuel 1
Perhaps the most well-known woman who pleaded with God for a baby was Hannah. You can find her story in 1 Samuel. She prayed and pleaded with God for a child. To make it worse, Penninah, her husband’s other wife provoked her. Unlike Rachel though, instead of engaging with Penninah or being angry with her husband, she went before God. She gave her burdens to God who listened to her cries and prayers.
What Do I Do In This Season of Waiting?
Being human, you may be tired of waiting. But I invite you to return to worship. Trusting in God means we choose to trust when it is easy to do so and especially when it is hard. Worship means giving thanks and honor to a deserving God, no matter our circumstances. Our human tendencies want to do everything opposite. We can fall into a pit of our own self-pity, anger, and hurt.
For me, the hardest part is seeing my amazing husband with our nieces and nephews. I have known and imagined for so long how good of a father he would be. I hope to have a son that would be just like him. In fact, I have so much hope during this season and I am choosing to trust God’s best while we are waiting. I hope you are too.
But the truth is, God is still good. He is still God on the throne, who is able to give life. He is with us through every season and we must fully trust in His best for our lives. While this may be a hard pill to swallow, can you still choose to trust God no matter what His answer is?
I am not sure where you are in your journey of praying for a baby. If you feel lead to be more proactive, here are some steps you can take right now. These steps do not diminish our faith by any means, we are still trusting God. I am not a doctor or health practitioner and this is not medical advice. These are steps that I have taken before I started seeing my Ob/Gyn. Always consult with a healthcare professional.
Track your cycle
I use an oral thermometer to take my temperature at the same time every morning. I record this data using Fertility Friend. This helps track my ovulation period. I also use ovulation strips to confirm with the app. Having a few months of data to show my doctor was very helpful to move to the next steps.
See an Ob/Gyn
If you have not already, schedule an appointment with a recommended Ob/Gyn. They will be able to lead you through the steps that are needed for your particular situation. The steps can look very different for different women.
Let us pray
Heavenly Father, I know and declare that you are good. Through my tears and frustration, I choose to trust you. I choose to trust that your thoughts are higher than my thoughts and Your ways better than my ways. I still ask for happy, healthy children that will honor you and serve you in Jesus’s mighty name. Help me to live in faith through this season of waiting. Equipt me to overcome feelings of shame, inadequacy, and guilt. Remind me that I am an overcomer through Christ. I pray for your best in my and my family’s life.