In the age of social media and highlight reels, it can seem like success has a look. It has a certain social status, a level of income, and a pull of influence. If you are not a part of it, it has a tendency to leave you to want without giving you any direction to achieve it. Worldly success is deceiving and that is why we need to redefine success. Because as followers of Christ, our life’s goal was never meant to just achieve the success of this world.
What Is Success?
Growing up, the schools I attended always taught us to strive to be the top three in class. Our parents defined what our occupation will be. And it can only be one of three things: a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer. Most other people I’ve met since then did not have parents with that type of expectation. When they heard that our parents did, most were more impressed than anything else. Some say that it is a good thing that our parents wanted us to be successful.
I grew up thinking that success meant I would work in one of those occupations, obtain a well-paying job and buy things that most people wouldn’t be able to afford. Think about how you were raised to think about what success meant. It could be in being able to play professional sports, to have a certain number of followers, to be the first in your field of interest, to break records, or maybe to be a multi-millionaire.
You could look at people that have achieved your idea of success and feel inspired. You have a world of admiration for what they have achieved. According to the Oxford dictionary, the first definition of success is as below.
noun 1.the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
So you are not wrong by that definition to think that about the person you admire. After all, they have accomplished a certain aim or purpose in their fields. But is it really what it looks like?
Why We Need To Redefine Success
We Don’t See The True Cost
When we look at other people’s success, it tends to only show a snippet of their story. Worldly success comes at a cost. Many executives spend long hours, pouring all their energy into climbing up the corporate ladder. Sometimes, relationships are sacrificed. It could be relationships with family members or with friends. It can even be with bosses and coworkers.
Parents who pursue success at work can be well-meaning. They may spend every moment working long hours so that they can make more money in order to provide a better life for their families. Meanwhile, their ambition can push their spouse and children away. They may eventually be able to achieve a certain career or monetary success. However, their loved ones paid the price. Their spouse may have picked up the responsibility at home while dealing with loneliness. Their kids go on living their lives feeling abandoned and without support.
Being absent parents in the pursuit of success can push their children into toxic relationships. Or they may grow up with a damaged self-image even when they achieve a level of success. They may have had to miss out on having a healthy childhood with lifelong friendships because all their time is spent on what it took to be a success in their craft.
Being successful financially can also breed toxic habits like addictive substances. Achieving a level of fame can rid you of peace and privacy. You see this is the case in so many famous people whom the world sees to be successful. Yet, all we tend to see is the glory and glamour. We need to redefine success because it comes at a cost more than it may be worth.
My Story
I have experienced the damage from parents who pursued success at the cost of their relationship with the family. Growing up, my father only went after being successful in people’s eyes. He grew up poor and had many personal struggles along the way. All he wanted to do was be successful to prove to himself and others. Yes, he wanted to also give us a better life and opportunities he never had. But we never had much of a relationship with him. He went after obtaining money and success with all this time and energy.
My father often came home with the worst version of himself. He took out his frustrations and stress of the workday on his family. He would often drink to cope, which only made his temper worse. When it came to school, he demanded the best grades from his kids. The pressure from him, along with cultural expectations left me always feeling like I was never good enough. Read here if you ever feel that way. In the end, it pushed his children away. It was only decades later he admitted that not being a present father was his biggest regret in life. My story is unfortunately a common one experienced among so many people.
Life Is Seasonal
Read: Ecclesiastes 3, John 16:33
It is so important to remember that life is seasonal. In Ecclesiastes, King Solomon wrote that “there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens”. We tend to look at success during a season that someone else is living in. However, it is a snippet of their life and part of their journey. They have gone through seasons of trial, seasons of highs and lows, and seasons of learning to get to that moment.
That moment in time, however long it may look like, is still a season. Just because someone achieved a level of success at the time in their life doesn’t mean life goes on “happily ever after” for them. Jesus told us in this world, we will have trouble. Success can come and go. We could be high on life one moment but that very success can push us off to the bottom. So we need to redefine what success is because it is transitional and seasonal.
We Were Called For A Higher Purpose
Read: Proverbs 31:8-9, Isaiah 1:17, Micah 6:8, Mark 16:15, Matthew 6:33, Hebrews 12:2
The world can tell us that being successful is our life’s calling and purpose. Yes, we are made to have a purpose. And God can certainly use your talents, tenacity, and your success for His Kingdom. However, we are called for a much higher purpose than just achieving worldly success. We are called to defend the rights of the poor and needy. The book of Micah tells us that we are called,
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God.
Jesus also told his disciples before he left them, to go out into the world and preach the gospel. While all of us may not be called to be pastors or evangelists, we are all called to preach the gospel where we are. We don’t have to be worldly successful to do this. The thing about worldly success is that it can be a tool. However, it is not our purpose.
We need to redefine success because our calling is too great. World success is simply not enough, we are meant for more. So while you are busy striving and envying success, remember that it is an empty, hollow place without God. Worldly success can be seductive, deceiving you of what you lack. That is why Jesus called us to seek His kingdom and righteousness first. Instead of running after what cannot fill you, fix your eyes on Jesus, who fills our cup with good things.
Let Us Pray
Heavenly Father, I admit that sometimes my goal tends to be more self-serving than what you planned for me. I seek the praises and comforts of this world that success promises. I forget that you call me to a life of holiness, a life serving you and others. Help me to redefine what success is and fix my eyes on you instead. Help me to seek your Kingdom and your righteousness. Remind me of your truth and set me free to pursue you first. In Jesus’s name. Amen