If there is something that we will observe at some point in our lives is seeing our life against someone else’s. Especially in the age of social media, it is easy to see a glimpse into other people’s lives and compare it to your own. Many of us look to others as if they are the standard for how and where our life should be. And if ours is not near where they are, we get down on ourselves. So why is it so important that we need to stop comparing ourselves to others? And how can we do that?
Why We Need To Stop Comparing Ourselves To Others
Most of us will agree that when we compare ourselves to others, the result is not usually a positive one. Someone will always be smarter, more successful, or good-looking. It may seem that their life is smooth, without the challenges that you seem to be facing all the time. It can leave you in a sense of self-pity and a general sense of failure. So why is it imperative for us to stop comparing to others, especially in our walk as Christ-followers?
You Are Made Uniquely
The Psalms are no doubt some of the most inspiring books to look for encouragement. It is no wonder that we find our uniqueness. While the world and maybe even you may think you are born because of your parent’s choices, the truth is God knew you. He has created you uniquely to make decisions with whatever it is that you will be facing. The days of your life are not a surprise to God. The season you are in is not a surprise to God.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. - Psalms 139: 13 - 16 (NIV)
And in the same way, the person that you are comparing yourself against is made as unique with their own challenges. You won’t get to see their inmost being and their own struggles. Where you are right now may not be a season that you imagined yourself to be in. Maybe you’re waiting on God for something to finally happen. But your waiting season is not the same as the season that someone else is in.
You Don’t See The Full Picture
Most of us can agree that what we post on social media are mostly highlights of our lives. Not many would be willing to air all the dirty laundry for the world to see and judge. That is why scandals of famous people can grab headlines. We live in a sinful world full of sinners, including ourselves. So just like how we can confidently tell a judgemental stranger “you don’t know me”, you can be confident that we don’t know the full story of others that we often compare ourselves to.
If we look back on certain events of our lives, there may be things that we only understand now why it happened the way it did. Some of us could be even thankful for the experiences that taught us lessons we needed to learn. There may be situations that we still do not understand today. But we can be confident that God does see the full picture when we do not.
Where we are at may not make sense to us. Maybe we expected something more of ourselves or of God. But we can’t see the full picture that God sees. He knows our past, present, and future. We can’t possibly know what is in store for us. But we can be confident that it will be good, even if we don’t understand it now. How can we be confident of this? Because our God is not a liar.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28 (NIV)
Your Calling Is Different
Just as God has made us uniquely, our calling is personalized to us. You may see someone excelling in their career while you wonder why you hate your job. It is not to say that is the situation that you need to be stuck in. But you are there right now, in this season. So what is it that God is calling you to do in this season? Could it be that you need to learn a lesson that only this current place can teach you at this moment? Or is it that He wants to use you for someone else?
The thing is when we give our lives to Christ, we have to be willing to allow God to use us. And sometimes that means God allowing us to go through situations that we may gripe about. However, in the end, He can use it to minister to others. In the same way, He can use you to bring light to others in the season you’re in, despite wanting more.
So instead of questioning God and allowing yourself to drown in feelings of inadequacy, let us live for our calling in this current place that we may be at. You can always be used, no matter where you are at. You have a calling, you have a purpose. Right now, where you are at that only you can do.
You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. - Matthew 5: 13-16 (NIV)
How To Stop Comparing Ourselves To Others
While we have the freedom to choose what we do with our lives, the truth is, we don’t have control of the outcomes. And while others can have more privileged lives, they don’t either. So how can we be unsatisfied about things we cannot control? How can we compare ourselves to others when we can’t help how we’re created? The book of Isaiah says it best,
What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’ - Isaiah 45:9 (NLT)
So how can we stop? By choosing to look to Him who is perfect over the illusions of other people’s lives. When we pursue Jesus, we will see that everything and everyone falls short. The best of what the world offers cannot touch the foot of Jesus. The things of this world that we admire will always fade. But who we are in Christ will always be the same and that is more valuable than anything that the world can ever dare to offer. We can stop comparing ourselves to others when we focus on what is greater than what we are lacking.
Let Us Pray
Heavenly Father, thank you for what you have done for me and who I am because of You. I admit that I tend to forget that and the things of the world tempt me to feel what I have is not enough. I can fall into a pit of self-pity and lack. I repent of these lies and trust that you will lead me in every phase and every season of my life. Keep me focused on You, who is greater than anything I may covet. Thank You for your truth, which always sets me free. In Jesus’s mighty name, I pray. Amen
Recommendation
Knowing God starts with knowing His Word. If you don’t already own a Bible, there are many churches that give one for free. You can also download a YouVersion Bible App. Or if you’d like a physical copy, it can easily be found on amazon.